Love

Love is hard to define but a proposed definition is putting another person’s feelings and needs above yours.

  • Eric Fromm in the Art of Loving struggled to define love.
    • Fromm believed that a powerful and primary motivation of humans, as strong in its own way as the drives of hunger and thirst, was the need to overcome aloneness by achieving union with something outside of the self.
    • Fromm lists four different ways this union can be achieved or four “solutions” to the problem of existential loneliness.
      • The four show up in nearly every culture.
      • They are orgiastic states, conformity, creative activity and love.
  • Brackelmanns’ definition of love includes friendship, compatibility, satisfaction, interest, self-sacrifice and sexuality in a bonded relationship.
  • Love is something that builds over time in a relationship and is probably much more connected to attachment than it is to romantic love.
  • Helen Fisher in her book The Anatomy of Love described 3 component parts to love:
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1.       Lust-which occurs more actively in the young. It fades in relationships and in individuals over time.

2.       The second part of love is Romantic Love. This is limerence and can occur with equal intensity at any time in an individual lifetime.

3.       The third part of love is Attachment. According to Fisher, attachment grows in the individual over time and also grows in relationships.