Five types of issues

  1. Overlying Issue
    • This is an issue that is once removed from the surface issues
    • Examples are always and never, as in you “never” said or did it, and “cabin” no it’s a “ranch”.
    • The ways to deal with these issues are to redefine the words and in that way neutralize them or just throw out the issue.
  2. Surface Issue
  3. There are two kinds.
  4. Reality must be considered. Examples would be losing a job, death of a child, and a serious accident of disease.
  5. Insignificant can be ignored. Examples would be towels on the floor or not replaced toothpaste caps.
  6. For money problems make a budget
  7. For sex problems see a sex and or couples therapist
  8. For in-laws problems, move
  9. For children problems be united
  10. For work problems quit or adjust
  11. For geography problems one person has to move
  12. These are issues which if not considered can result in a couples therapy treatment failure. They are:
    1. Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder
    2. Sexual Desire Deficiency
    3. Drug and Alcohol Problems
    4. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
    5. Past Affairs
  13. Hidden issues usually are reality issues that must be considered.
  14. The differences between these and the reality/surface issues are that these issues have to be flushed out.
  15. To identify these issues is often as simple as thinking about them and asking questions.
  16. The closeness disease characterized by fear of abandonment and fear of envelopment.
  17. Unresolved conflicts from childhood frequently result in low self-esteem and transference in the couple’s relationship.
  18. Issues related to early attachment relationships.
  19. Intersubjectivity problems such as difficulty with empathy, empathic attunement and communication.
  20. Reality Solutions to Reality Issues
  21. Hidden Issues
  22. Underlying Issues